Love Day

I found this quote yesterday & it embodied exactly how I feel love should feel.  

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”
- Thich Nhat Hahn

That unconditional love is so important in a marriage and in any relationship.  I am going to strive to be more unconditional and freeing in the love I give to others.  I just want to let it flow from me.  I don't want to give them expectations, check lists and impossible demands for them to earn my love.  I want Chris and Jack to be them, who they truly are, and see that like our Heavenly Parents do.  See them and love them and therefore free them.  Jack and I visited our valentine downtown and had a picnic in his office.

shop the look

acceptance

In light of the current uproar on instagram over the harmful effects of what bloggers/influencers and everyone posts.  I felt a need to put a simple response in.  I've been quoting Brene Brown a lot lately.  She's honestly my other bible.... 

Where do I fit in on instagram? Am I a part of the problem or the solution? As someone who enjoys creating beautiful photos I ask that question often. As everyone else I have definitely felt the weight of comparison on instagram. Feelings of inadequacy and self doubt are real and familiar. 


true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.
- Brene Brown


I promise to quit judging & start accepting others for what they truly are and in return I hope you’ll do the same. Because all I really want from instagram is for you to post what makes you happy or strong or proud or sad or hurt or loved. I want to see the highs and the lows even if the lows are just in your stories. I want you to follow who you want and unfollow those who don’t help you be you. Just keep doing you. However that may be.

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Sunday Thoughts

whatever your circumstance, you are a product of their love. you were put in your specific place because they need you there. I pray everyday not only to know how to become like our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ but also our Mother in heaven. They can make more of us than we can make of ourselves. I feel God’s love as I find my purpose. It continually changes and shapes itself into something different but the love I feel is the same. 💙 also this blue door on my walk home from church made me smile. 

four more Years

4 years ago I walked into marriage with what some would call a naïveté.  I would agree with that for the most part.  I would probably call it more of a blind faith. But, in a way, I'm glad I had that faith and optimism.  If I were more cynical and logical I probably would have passed up on Chris.  I was 19 and many people thought it was a mistake.  What a relief that I listened to my heart and that my heavenly parents gave me confidence in my decision.

I've learned over the years that marriage genuinely is one of the most difficult and rewarding experiences.  Like any important thing, it comes with an array of emotions and experiences.  Similarly to your relationship with God, your spouse knows ALL your flaws, shortcomings and secrets.  One may find it difficult to love someone when knowing all the other's imperfections.  I would say that is not the difficult part.  The difficult part is letting your spouse love you for EVERYTHING that you are when you know you're imperfect.  Being vulnerable by telling them when you fall short, sharing the pain you feel and apologizing for the hurt you may have caused.  In our brokenness and honesty that is where the love is in our relationship.  

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

- Brene Brown

 

I love that Chris has helped me in becoming my best self.  He sees me how God sees me, the good & the bad.  The instagram self and the sweatpant-wearing, house a mess self.  He has pushed me when I needed it and held me tight when needed it. These four years have been both amazing and mundane, comfortable and uncomfortable, joyful and sorrowful, easy and difficult and many more opposites. 

I am so grateful for the partnership we have formed and have loved being married to Chris for the last four years. All I keep saying in my head is "4 more years! 4 more years!" 

So in honor of our 4th anniversary, I thought I'd share a few photos from my favorite moments this last year as well as some photos of our wedding day.

Highlights from this Year:

Moved to Chicago | Jack turned one | Cruise to Carribean | LP & Oceanside | New Friendships | Hosting many visitors in Chi Town | survived 5 weeks a part | Fam trip to Portland | 30 Bday trip to Scottsdale | Reliving our first date at March Madness | Christmas with our Families | New traditions | So many sporting events | 2 months of the mustache

 

Feels like yesterday even though we look like 12 year olds.

winter playlist

 

yesterday I felt pretty down. I felt like my life wasn't my life.  I started to be angry, questioning why I got married so young and why I already had a child, wondering if laundry and cleaning was my only point of existence.  It's hard playing the "what if" game.  I have no regrets, but sacrifice can be hard, and that's ok.  I'm thankful for the life my Heavenly Parents have blessed me with.  When I look for them in my life that's when I find myself.  Shout out to all you moms and women who feel like no one notices them.  I SEE YOU.